Hash Trash

Run Date Run ID Trash Message 3/10/2010 1380 HASH SCRIBE 1380 10th Mar. 2010 On On with Run 1380 of the Colombo Hash Hares – Duck U, John the Craptist and ?????? The Hashers met up at an often frequented salubrious car park behind Battaramula. There was a good turnout of many new and not so new faces. Our team for the Hash included as always a very sloppy slappy RA, Slap Shot and two very accommodating beer bitches and Horn operators, Pull Noodle and Photo-Copulator. Duck You ducked off early before the Circle and will need to take a down down in the next circle. The general consensus was that the run was too short and too hot and others complained about getting caught up with a herd of buffalo. What do they expect? The wankers had a good wank and it was good that both trails had some common areas. Toddles, yet to received a proper Hash name, who also gained the name of Chunderer and FNG (Fucking New Guy) at last weeks Hash, was chaperoned by his wife Catherine, who came as a pregnant Virgin. He also had to take a down down for being a greedy bastard with his water camel hump strapped to his back on the on on. The beer bitches were nervous of his last week’s chunderering and only gave him a small down down, but the rest of the Hashers noticed so he was forced to take another down down. Other Virgins were a native Ansaka and Marine Matt from Rhode Island, who came with Birdshit and would like to come again. Guest Hashers came from Honolulu, Keri who took 6 days to come since her arrival in Sri Lanka. Poor girl. Our youngest Hashers for the night were Patricia and Victoria from Germany and were made to come by Ausfart and Eager Beaver. Slap Shot continued to have a problem explaining to his wife why a broken necklace, that Bendy had found between her legs and belonging to All Day All Night, was on his dressing table. Returners were Wet My Willie and Eager Beaver, who has an apartment to rent in Berlin. Any takers? Leavers were Concrete Cow, leaving by boat, and Cockpit, who wasn’t sure whether he was leaving or even wanted to. Concrete Cow achieved a superb handstand, so Hashers could read the upside down writing on our Hash Sarong and see other mysterious things. There was a charge on Hare, John the Craptist for having crappy footwear and Eager Beaver volunteered to keep him in trainers for his entire Hashing life. There were several Anniversaries for 5+, 10, 55, 75 and an astounding 165 for All Day All Night. Well done you Hashers. Recently christen Pop Up Cock was delighted to be the stand in Hash Shit and proudly wore the Hash Shit Seat. The Hares performed a shortened version of their shit Hare song to which Fag End voiced his disapproval by committing arson and burning the Hare Song Sheet. He was quickly voted in as the new Hash Shit. He was supported in the circle by Frozen Assets who had encouraged him to burn it. Half pint then sang the Hare Song to much applause. Birdshit downed his shorts and perched pertly on the ice block, reeling in every minute of it. Also on a charge were Concrete Cow for thinking again and Eager Beaver for thinking twice. What is in their heads? Another Great Hash, On On Snail Trail 1/13/2010 1370 RUN NO: 1370 HARES: CLITTORIA, LICKALOTAPUSS & HESPERATE DOUSEWIFE SITE: SAMA CENTRE, 13TH Jan. 2010 "Whoa-oh! The Trail wasn't there! Whoa-oh! You're a shitty Hare!" Actually the trail ran us through back neighborhoods to the delight of the local kids who some actually followed us at a distance and then into the paddies, up hills, over dales and through the jugles we went on our way to Grandma's House...wait, that is a different tale for a different time... This visiting hasher found the trail fun. It was exciting to run through beautiful terraine that I have never been through before. It sure is different from the Hills of San Francisco (and just a liitle warmer). :) The first water crossing proved treachorus for only 2 hashers who couldn't keep their footing (RA & Just Katie) who really enjoyed cuming out wet together. Oh My! From there we trampled the rice and scared the cows... oh wait, they were chasing us right before we got to the lake. I believe the little one would like to be a hasher. Invite him next time but be sure to have enough beer a steer can drink... Apparently I didn't have enough to drink prior to the start as I was successful at all the water and ditch crossings only to fall in the paddy and roll my ankle, or so I thought. The pack was generous to stop and let this little Doggie have a moment to evaluate and compose myself after the fall. Then we were back at it again. I really believed I had just rolled my ankle (a not uncommon occurence) and kept on trail. And then my ankle said "oh no...you need to walk" Walk? What is that business??? I heard the Wanker Trail was quite lovely not to take anything away from ya'll. :) And just as night had fallen, Spiderman and Doggie Style found our way back to the start. Let the Circle begin!!! Circle celebrated many hashers that night. Getting it over with quickly, the Hares were called up to be brutalized for their shitty trail and got a SFH3 original song ya'll will never forget. To their dismay, the 3 virgins were deflowered and can never say they are Hash Virgins again....there is no re-virginization in Hashing! Ya'll got to kiss off a few folks moving onto terrorize their next hash port of call. The debate of the naming was very intense and know she will be so much more comfortable with a real hash name and no longer be just a wanker! I was your only visitor for the evening and I was quite honored to be there. I will wear my CH3 shirt with pride and the envy of all the hashers in SF. Be warned, even tho I am now in a cast (plaster) for at least the next week, SFH3 and the San Francisco hashing community will here the wonderful tales of hashing in Colombo. Oh yeah, did I mention, that I will actually be there next week as well since I have this lovely plaster on my leg??? HIGHLIGHTS OF Down Downs: Returners: Bendy, Diplocockus, Concrete Cow & Dineeka. Leavers: Cockpit, Dineeka Q. Pint. Permanent Leaver : Neinskin. HASH SHIT: Diplocockus Anniversaries : Lickalotpuss 25, gets a pink potty, H. Pint, Kung F. Panda, Sally Swallows, Diplo, Spidy & H. Dousewife. CHRISTIANISATION of Dineek: Ended up with "Fiddle Me" among so many nominations. Obnoxious Nationality went to the Americans.. On On till next week! DOGGY STYLE. SFH3 Shitty Trail Song (to the tune of Guns & Roses - Living on a Prayer" Whoa-oh! The Trail wasn't there! Whoa-oh! You're a Shitty Hare! I looked real hard...the paper wasn't there! Whoa-oh you're a Shitty Harrrrrre!!!! 12/9/2009 1363 RUN NO: 1363 HARES: HALF PINT, EAGER BEAVER & AUSFART 9TH DEC. 2009 It was a rainy afternoon on that wednesday run number 1363 at ausfahrt`s place, but before the birthday run started the weather changed and we could starT our usual activitiy, running and wanking. The hares and birthday queens were Eager Beaver and Half Pint, hared together with Ausfahrt. It was a long run (I was told so) and there were some shortcutters, maybe by accident? there were not enough cows for concrete. We have new members, Liz who loves everything with ing at the end...like gardening, cooking etc. and Charles the househusband. ac/dc received her pink potty for her 25th run. Other annis were Sally Swallows on 55, Whips on 520, Frozen on 145, Joystick on ???, g-spot on 140, and Liz on 5. we found out that Aintz Bush is a shoe lover because he wanted again and agian to drink out of Plastic Knob's shoes. It was a packed crowd onAausfahrt premises so we had some "sitters" who got a down down for sure....Bendy, ADAN, Liz, Dr. Pushin and some others. The hares delivered us with a santa song and Sally Swaloows said she can swallow 2, but 3 is too much. We had a special down down for Papa and Mutti Köhn as well for aunti Kahrin. For her 5 th run we named Liz this evening......."Give me your seed" and the circle ended with great food and an following birthday party till dawn, or maybe just short before sunrise. Diplocockus 12/2/2009 1362 Run 1362 Venue: Miss Piggy's Sty Date: 2 December 2009 Hares: Hesperate DouseWife, Miss Piggy, Babe, Pork Scratchings Run 55 minutes. aargh! A lively circle followed a run which took in the usual local sights: shiggy, cows, paddy, bathing villagers, bitching harriers, lazy FRBs, racing marines and the odd dog. The lovely HesperateD had brought birthday AppleKorn, Baileys and Vodka shots. She sure knows the way to a hasher's heart. SlapShot is a lucky man. Cheers Before we even got started the beer boys had made Bendy wet. Piggy only lasted 10 seconds of a two-minute silence for one of our own, Shirley, may she rest in peace. Our thoughts are with her family. Piggy instantly got the HashShit. I'm unreliably informed that Pork Scratchings commented that 10 seconds was actually quite long for him to last. Virgins: Peter, Monika & Karin – Mummy Swallows, Mustang Daddy & Auntie – our very own On-Secs' parents. And what fun they were. Peter later was spotted wanking in the circle then proceeded to spit instead of swallow. Cool. Stay as long as you like! Oslo newbies: Sandro and Otto's-My-Name from Norway. Both half and half. Shanker Wanker made them come. And return they will, when they next...return. One of them is in rubber, which explains why it took so long for him to come. (Hi Otto, I hope you get this email!!) Piggy, take note. Returners: Whips&Lashes, VoiceBox; Spiderman is back from down under TTB; Deep Throat has been making naughty movies; Table Top Bouncer was BangingCock – lucky girl. Charles has been in Heidi but came on a scooter – it takes all sorts! Charges: Miss Piggy and Pork Scratchings for various cobweb, ant and crossed wire-shenanigans. Concrete Cow had brought her vibrator along – a dildo actually, the Hash has been a bit dull lately. She later did a really terrible birthday poem. Dr Push-in is an artistic Russian pussy picture pervert was caught with camera. . Voice Box claimed to have lost his voice due to a large number of blow jobs. I was told it was good for the voice – have I been duped?. Spidey, one of our quietest hashers, joined him in song. My ears are still ringing. FF was very late. Moo Moo Spew, budding pornstar, was attempting erotic moves on Bendy – that boy clearly is way out of his depth. Bendy shook her booty to all 4 corners of the earth and everyone lapped it up. Plastic Knob has pictures Anniversaries: TTB 40; Pork Scratchings 440; Lashes 540; Half Pint 745. Piggy is a hash hero on 70 hares. Our vintage hashers seriously need to get a life. Low Profiles: Voice Box, Duck U, Shanker Wanker, ADAN, Cockpit, Checked (plaid) shorts Lady and husband. Obnoxious nationality: Nominations: Spanish for fiddly fingers, US for farting pigs, Russians lending red flags to Sri Lanka, Sri Lankans for hedging their bets with Mahinda/Fonseka on the money & copying Iwo Jima photos and Marine Cake & printing Monopoly money & having crashing planes on the watermark & flashing a US visa officer. Naturally the host country won. BTW if anyone is worried about HesperateD being traumatised by the flashing incident, she's fine as she couldn't actually see anything, not even with the binoculars she used to check it out. At the End: Whips told a very funny joke and Swing Low was rendered by Black Bollox, Piggy, Spidey & VB. Good to see the HHH songs getting an airing at last – I'm more than a little sick of “Here's to them...bla bla bla” 200 times a hash.(moan, bitch, grumble, whinge). Finally a nice big chocolate birthday cake was wheeled out and the circle watched the HD, PS & MP give a huge blow job. ON ON Concrete Cow xxx