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The very first run of the Colombo Hash House Harriers
was on the 21st of April 1980. The Grand Master at the
time was Franklin Pate and the Joint Masters were Walter
Dieffendahl and Japp De Jong. The Hash Cash was Clive
Burgess, the On-Sec was Mike Hill, Religious Adviser
– Andrew Gormley and the Scribe was Martin Culshaw.
The following is the exact replica of the very first
write up about the run that day.
Run No: 1
Hare: The Master
Co hare: On Sec
“Now” we
said, “as it’s the first run of CH3, don’t
make it too difficult, long or boring. We don’t
want to put people off, do we?” “It will
only be a gentle run around the airport,” the
Hares replied, “perhaps 10 or 12 miles,”
And so run no 1 launched CH3 with a monumental Hashit.
The first group of SCBs (short cutting bastards) were
in after about an hour but they only did a third of
the run; the next group, including your scribe, who
is more used to exercising his right arm (with a pen)
than his legs, managed a return after 1 ½ hours.
As for the bulk of the pack, well, they might still
be out there, up to their armpits in shiggy with the
Co Hare telling them that they are nearly half way round.
It all started well enough
with a huge turn out of around 40 hashers gnawing at
their leads, but then trouble started. “Are we
following paper?” asked one innocent. “No,”
said another, “it’s flour.” “Ah”
commented a third, “in Ulan Bator we used French
letters filled with French chalk; the only problem was
that the kids though they were balloons.” Eventually,
after much wandering, we decided that the hares were
laying dollops of flour, interspaced with tufts of finely
shredded paper. This might have been OK on the highways
and by-ways of Outer Mongolia but once into the jungles
of Ratmalana it became impossible. Of course, we could
have ALL shortcut for home if the Co Hare hadn’t
insisted on leaping out of a coconut tree and stopping
us from finding the inward trail, which lay just around
the corner. Still, some people enjoyed it, particularly
those who got back to the beer an hour before the rest.
However, if the run was
a disaster and the On-On didn’t develop, the On-on-on
was a resounding success. All who still had one leg
to stand on were there and everyone stuffed themselves
(no east feat) with Mrs. Perera’s delicacies and
beer. Darling Fred erected himself and then was voted
Master of Musique with wonderful renditions of of old
American folk songs such as “She’ll be coming
round the mountain when she comes” which sounds
painful and “How much is that doggy in the window?”.
Walter Dandruff and Yap Yap Dong (Australian Cultural
Advisor to the Democratic People’s Rebuplic of
Vietnam) (now don’t tell me you didn’t know
that the Aussies had any culture) were unanimously declared
Joint Masters (everyone else had gone home in disgust).
And so the hash organizing (???) committee was born.
There was of course much muttering about lack of ability
to organize piss-ups in breweries but, like the beer,
these remarks were just washed over (or through) the
committee. And so leaving the Aussies to lick the last
of the beer from the table, we staggered into the night.
The Religious Advisor was last seen praying at the roadside
in Ratmalana beside the petrol-less remains of his car;
On Sec was heard to threaten everyone with a real run
when he was the Hare and the Master did the honorable
thing and walked in to the sea. The last I heard was
plaintive cry as the 10:15 to Matara swept him away.
And now for the bit you
all hate, the serious part. (Have you realized the power
of the Scribe yet? He is the only person who can get
his biased opinions into print week after week. So you
will have to be very very nice to him if you want your
outrages opinions published). There was not enough paper/flour
laid in those parts of the run through fields and open
country. Future Hares make sure that you carry enough
flour/paper to lay a clearly visible trail. Secondly,
please make sure that your run finishes before it goes
dark. It’s not much fun being stuck in a bog when
lights go out. So, for the first few runs, keep them
short. Anyone who wants to train for Moscow can go around
twice. Thirdly, until we get the beer on a regular footing
there may be a few snags with the On-On, which takes
place immediately after the run. So be patient. Fourthly,
the Scribe is not averse to the occasional guest Scribe
putting pen to paper. If you want to have a go, let
me know.
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