Hash Trash

Run Date Run ID Trash Message 4/14/2010 1387 RUN NO: 1387 HARES: CLITTORIA & LICKALOTAPUSS SITE: Athurugiriya, 14th April 2010 So despite diligently writing down all the night’s events on a piece of paper so that I could carefully record them in the hash scribe, I went and lost the piece of paper somehow! So excuse me for a shorter than usual scribe with only my hazy memory to rely on…maybe it was our visiting Delhi hashers Rambo No 5 and Sita Barbie who made off with my notes! The run and the walk set by Clitoria and Lickalotapuss was in a lovely area that is hardly used…what better way to celebrate the Sinhala and Tamil New Year. And there were certainly some celebrations along the route with some very loud firecrackers set off and frightening Pint into walking even faster than usual!! The very colourful hasher known as Rambo No 5 made his entrance into our circle, even taking over the RA role from Bootlegger for a little while, along with the lovely Sita Barbie (apparently the devoted Hindu wife of the seventh avatar of Vishnu if you didn’t know). There were a couple of virgins who had come out to celebrate the New Year, all the way from the US if my memory serves me right, along with the kind owner of the house where we were congregated, and we all received some new tankards from Clitoria and Lickalotapuss to drink from given the occasion. Under Slappy was our diminutive beer bitch and there was mass debate over who was taller, her or Half Pint, until we realized that Under Slappy was cheating and standing on a beer crate! I had returned from a snowy and rainy trip to the UK, with Wet Back Mountain joining me as a returner, and ADAN and Dr Do What I Say were leaving to head off to the city of Dhaka in beautiful Bangladesh. Bootlegger and Sack a Poo Poo were a little too happy about this, or maybe Sack a Poo Poo was just happy with his new Snoop Dog hairdo and that he might be able to keep it in longer than the two weeks that ADAN had told him! Anniversaries came from all over the circle with Bendy and Diplo sharing 150 between them and the top spot going to our loveable Russian Dr Push In. And then what New Year circle would be complete without a Christianisation. And of course it was yet another bloody marine!! He seemed to have some fetishes for public toilets, monkeys and his own balls and after much deliberation with names ranging from Tom and Jerry (until Bendy realised that his name was not in fact Tom or Jerry), No More Joystick Bullshit (courtesy of Kung Fuk Panda – what was wrong with my suggestions!), Glory Hole and Ball Licker, ADAN combined two of the names and Glory Hole Licker was born! The Hash Shit had been passed around the circle throughout the evening and I’m hoping Kung Fuk Panda ended up with it after his earlier comment! Low profilers were brought in to be punished, Rough Cut and Frozen Assets among them I think. Even Ainz had had a quiet night by his singing standards! And so obnoxious nationalities brought an end to our circle and of course by this point I have no idea who it went to, although I seem to remember there being a large cheering match between the Americans and the Brits?? So on on to the Harriers 30th anniversary run and thanks to all for a good night! Joystick 3/31/2010 1385 SCRIBE Run: 1385 Hares: Sticky Fingers, G.Spot & Give me Your Seed SITE: Homicide Quarry The run started with 69er cracking her bum on the wet net laid over the rocks. Well later she said in the circle, that the ground was getting its chance to feel her bum. Well there was plenty of wet paddy as it had rained hard in the morning. Compared to Ella, the harriettes found this run a piece of cake…! The main complaint about the run was that there was not enough paper and the women had to rely on their well honed intuition to find the way. But Dr Pushin thought the run was just excellent. In the circle Sally Swallows reckoned that she was not getting eaten by men but by termites. We had a one returner – Wet Nurse. She had gone to Germany to get away from Sri Lanka for a bit. The Leaver was Wet my Winnie. Poor Dr Pushin – he did not know the difference between Cows and Bulls. Apparently local bulls and…. have such small balls that he cannot see the difference. The RA thought that Sri Lankan women and buffaloes have a lot in common as both of them love to be covered with mud - to remain lovely. I’ve a Length was accused of being up to no good in Ella and he insisted that what he performed in Ella should remain the deep dark secret of Ella….!!!!! Our poor old pal , Shannon was Christianized. And given that he also had a passion for mud baths – he was aptly called Muddy Cock. The Lithuanians were definitely the obnoxious nationality – god knows why – but for some stupid reason. And the hash food – home cooked – by the ladies was reeeeellly reeellllly gooooddddd……….. ON ON! 69ER 3/17/2010 1381 RUN NO 1381 17th March 2010, American Recreation Center HARES: All Day All Night, Slapshot, Chihuahua Style After a long but „good“ run and also long but „crapy“ wank through the polluted city of Colombo the Hashers were able to cool down refresh in the pool of the Recreation Center. So the R.A. for the night, Bootlegger, had some difficulties to form the circle and Clittoria ended up as his beer bitch. After a lot of charges at the beginning (absent Birdshit to have broken the horn; Matt for not wearing a shirt; All Day All Night for not having given him a shirt; Chihuahua Style and Take Me From The Back Jack for sex on the trail) we finally welcomed two virgins: Tammy and Lee. Before we were able go on with the returners: Doministress, Kanishka, Dude That’s Not My Finger, FF and 13 KAG – there were two more charges about „transparency“........... As it was the 17th of March, better known as St. Patrick’s Day, everyone should have worn something green. So the R.A. got round the circle to check that and it ended up with 3 turns of down downs for those who weren’t wearing green. At the same time it was the saint’s day of Rip Van Wanker who – to wear something green - put on a Hash-shirt that resulted to be a Hare-shirt, inside out and got an extra down down for that. The leavers of the evening were: Dude That’s Not My Finger, 13 KAG, G-Spot, Snail Trail, Little Red Crevette and FF. We also welcomed Matt as a new member and the Anniversaries were: Give Me Your Seat (15 runs), Mumu’s Mu (20), Kung Fuck Panda (50), Bend Me Over The Hashbar (65), Murdery Hake (180), Dr. Do What I Say (90), I’ve a lenght (135), FF (360), Lashes (550) and All Day All Night for 25 Hares. Close to the end there was Kanishka’s christianisation left. For his Hash-name the circle decided nearly unanimously and voted for „Slap My Sausage“ (because of his special relationship to Slapshot). At last there were some Party-Announcements and – what a surprise – the obnoxious nationality went to the Germans for having many private parties in the circle (thanks to Cockpit first of all). So the Hash went in peace and the (mainly from Design A Willy) long-awaited Hash-food could finally start. ON ON, Photocopulator 3/10/2010 1380 HASH SCRIBE 1380 10th Mar. 2010 On On with Run 1380 of the Colombo Hash Hares – Duck U, John the Craptist and ?????? The Hashers met up at an often frequented salubrious car park behind Battaramula. There was a good turnout of many new and not so new faces. Our team for the Hash included as always a very sloppy slappy RA, Slap Shot and two very accommodating beer bitches and Horn operators, Pull Noodle and Photo-Copulator. Duck You ducked off early before the Circle and will need to take a down down in the next circle. The general consensus was that the run was too short and too hot and others complained about getting caught up with a herd of buffalo. What do they expect? The wankers had a good wank and it was good that both trails had some common areas. Toddles, yet to received a proper Hash name, who also gained the name of Chunderer and FNG (Fucking New Guy) at last weeks Hash, was chaperoned by his wife Catherine, who came as a pregnant Virgin. He also had to take a down down for being a greedy bastard with his water camel hump strapped to his back on the on on. The beer bitches were nervous of his last week’s chunderering and only gave him a small down down, but the rest of the Hashers noticed so he was forced to take another down down. Other Virgins were a native Ansaka and Marine Matt from Rhode Island, who came with Birdshit and would like to come again. Guest Hashers came from Honolulu, Keri who took 6 days to come since her arrival in Sri Lanka. Poor girl. Our youngest Hashers for the night were Patricia and Victoria from Germany and were made to come by Ausfart and Eager Beaver. Slap Shot continued to have a problem explaining to his wife why a broken necklace, that Bendy had found between her legs and belonging to All Day All Night, was on his dressing table. Returners were Wet My Willie and Eager Beaver, who has an apartment to rent in Berlin. Any takers? Leavers were Concrete Cow, leaving by boat, and Cockpit, who wasn’t sure whether he was leaving or even wanted to. Concrete Cow achieved a superb handstand, so Hashers could read the upside down writing on our Hash Sarong and see other mysterious things. There was a charge on Hare, John the Craptist for having crappy footwear and Eager Beaver volunteered to keep him in trainers for his entire Hashing life. There were several Anniversaries for 5+, 10, 55, 75 and an astounding 165 for All Day All Night. Well done you Hashers. Recently christen Pop Up Cock was delighted to be the stand in Hash Shit and proudly wore the Hash Shit Seat. The Hares performed a shortened version of their shit Hare song to which Fag End voiced his disapproval by committing arson and burning the Hare Song Sheet. He was quickly voted in as the new Hash Shit. He was supported in the circle by Frozen Assets who had encouraged him to burn it. Half pint then sang the Hare Song to much applause. Birdshit downed his shorts and perched pertly on the ice block, reeling in every minute of it. Also on a charge were Concrete Cow for thinking again and Eager Beaver for thinking twice. What is in their heads? Another Great Hash, On On Snail Trail 1/13/2010 1370 RUN NO: 1370 HARES: CLITTORIA, LICKALOTAPUSS & HESPERATE DOUSEWIFE SITE: SAMA CENTRE, 13TH Jan. 2010 "Whoa-oh! The Trail wasn't there! Whoa-oh! You're a shitty Hare!" Actually the trail ran us through back neighborhoods to the delight of the local kids who some actually followed us at a distance and then into the paddies, up hills, over dales and through the jugles we went on our way to Grandma's House...wait, that is a different tale for a different time... This visiting hasher found the trail fun. It was exciting to run through beautiful terraine that I have never been through before. It sure is different from the Hills of San Francisco (and just a liitle warmer). :) The first water crossing proved treachorus for only 2 hashers who couldn't keep their footing (RA & Just Katie) who really enjoyed cuming out wet together. Oh My! From there we trampled the rice and scared the cows... oh wait, they were chasing us right before we got to the lake. I believe the little one would like to be a hasher. Invite him next time but be sure to have enough beer a steer can drink... Apparently I didn't have enough to drink prior to the start as I was successful at all the water and ditch crossings only to fall in the paddy and roll my ankle, or so I thought. The pack was generous to stop and let this little Doggie have a moment to evaluate and compose myself after the fall. Then we were back at it again. I really believed I had just rolled my ankle (a not uncommon occurence) and kept on trail. And then my ankle said "oh no...you need to walk" Walk? What is that business??? I heard the Wanker Trail was quite lovely not to take anything away from ya'll. :) And just as night had fallen, Spiderman and Doggie Style found our way back to the start. Let the Circle begin!!! Circle celebrated many hashers that night. Getting it over with quickly, the Hares were called up to be brutalized for their shitty trail and got a SFH3 original song ya'll will never forget. To their dismay, the 3 virgins were deflowered and can never say they are Hash Virgins again....there is no re-virginization in Hashing! Ya'll got to kiss off a few folks moving onto terrorize their next hash port of call. The debate of the naming was very intense and know she will be so much more comfortable with a real hash name and no longer be just a wanker! I was your only visitor for the evening and I was quite honored to be there. I will wear my CH3 shirt with pride and the envy of all the hashers in SF. Be warned, even tho I am now in a cast (plaster) for at least the next week, SFH3 and the San Francisco hashing community will here the wonderful tales of hashing in Colombo. Oh yeah, did I mention, that I will actually be there next week as well since I have this lovely plaster on my leg??? HIGHLIGHTS OF Down Downs: Returners: Bendy, Diplocockus, Concrete Cow & Dineeka. Leavers: Cockpit, Dineeka Q. Pint. Permanent Leaver : Neinskin. HASH SHIT: Diplocockus Anniversaries : Lickalotpuss 25, gets a pink potty, H. Pint, Kung F. Panda, Sally Swallows, Diplo, Spidy & H. Dousewife. CHRISTIANISATION of Dineek: Ended up with "Fiddle Me" among so many nominations. Obnoxious Nationality went to the Americans.. On On till next week! DOGGY STYLE. SFH3 Shitty Trail Song (to the tune of Guns & Roses - Living on a Prayer" Whoa-oh! The Trail wasn't there! Whoa-oh! You're a Shitty Hare! I looked real hard...the paper wasn't there! Whoa-oh you're a Shitty Harrrrrre!!!! 12/9/2009 1363 RUN NO: 1363 HARES: HALF PINT, EAGER BEAVER & AUSFART 9TH DEC. 2009 It was a rainy afternoon on that wednesday run number 1363 at ausfahrt`s place, but before the birthday run started the weather changed and we could starT our usual activitiy, running and wanking. The hares and birthday queens were Eager Beaver and Half Pint, hared together with Ausfahrt. It was a long run (I was told so) and there were some shortcutters, maybe by accident? there were not enough cows for concrete. We have new members, Liz who loves everything with ing at the end...like gardening, cooking etc. and Charles the househusband. ac/dc received her pink potty for her 25th run. Other annis were Sally Swallows on 55, Whips on 520, Frozen on 145, Joystick on ???, g-spot on 140, and Liz on 5. we found out that Aintz Bush is a shoe lover because he wanted again and agian to drink out of Plastic Knob's shoes. It was a packed crowd onAausfahrt premises so we had some "sitters" who got a down down for sure....Bendy, ADAN, Liz, Dr. Pushin and some others. The hares delivered us with a santa song and Sally Swaloows said she can swallow 2, but 3 is too much. We had a special down down for Papa and Mutti Köhn as well for aunti Kahrin. For her 5 th run we named Liz this evening......."Give me your seed" and the circle ended with great food and an following birthday party till dawn, or maybe just short before sunrise. Diplocockus